​Reader,​

I was sitting at my desk, looking out my window earlier this week. I noticed our neighbor in their side yard with two small dogs and a 1 ½ year old.

It looked like they were attempting a walk. They had made it about 20 feet from the front door when both dogs and the child laid down on the grass and refused to move.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. Mostly out of solidarity for the neighbor who had made these great plans on a beautiful day, only to be sidelined by things outside of her control.

I could see her trying really hard not to get frustrated. Then the toddler hopped up and started to bolt and the dogs refused to move.

From my chair, it looked like she had two options. She could either let the dogs go, hoping they stayed put, and grab the toddler. Or she could stay with the dogs and rely on the toddler listening to her calls to come back.

She was being pulled in two directions, presented with two options, and there wasn’t a great solution within reach.

She surprised me though, by racing after the toddler, leashes still firmly in hand, and just dragged the two dogs along the grass as she went. Toddler was restrained. Dogs were still dead weight. Everyone was promptly picked up and carried inside.

The whole show lasted maybe a few minutes at most, but the thing I took away from it wasn’t the hot mess of it all. It was her response to it.

Yes, I could see she was not thrilled with how things were going down. But I could also see her taking a deep breath and then choosing to respond from a place of patience.

And it was in that moment, she found her agency.

She wasn’t going on a walk like she intended – that was off the table. Instead, she chose to stop fighting what she couldn’t control and found her power in her response to the thing she didn’t have control over.

Whether she knew it or not, she was engaging with the spiritual practice of self-awareness.

She knew herself and the situation well enough, that she was able to choose how she wanted to show up. Even when things were less than ideal. And that’s huge.

When we’re in our WTF Era and things aren’t going as planned or we aren’t where we thought we would be at this age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to push to make something happen or fight against the situation.

Sometimes, this means we have to make less than perfect decisions on the fly. But when we have a solid spiritual practice of self-awareness, we can trust ourselves enough to know that even imperfect decisions will still move us closer to who we want to become and how we want to show up in the world.

P.S. Is there a place in life right now where you’re letting the circumstances decide who you’re going to be? And what is one small action or response that could help you shift that?

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